Since when I started acting like an embarrassed little girl for everything I do? With this job everything I do or say is either weird, or weird-er… Just awkward. Every situation here makes me feel so…. strange. And as I read ” The complete guide to not giving a fuck” from I keep wondering…. Why do I keep caring about people that are not even thinking about being my friend. Or even what is happening with me? If I keep going, will this be different? Will I be happier? Probably not. All my life I have been running away from my ghost, fears and this stupid fear of myself… And all that travels with me. Every time. And even though I still want to keep running, I wont. For Max. Because he needs the stability I cannot give him from my stupid fears. Because that is what vacations are for. To escape. So let’s dream, I will always be missing the real buddies. Until we meet again. In the meantime, I have no other option than facing that dragon that keeps chasing me wherever I go. Hopefully next time I gotta open my mouth I wont get all red, and it wont be so obvious that I get clumsier as I keep speaking. Or maybe I wont care. Anymore. One day.